Friday, March 28, 2014

 Is there Honor in Quitting?
Wanting SO badly to quit...pack up my life and move on. But, for some reason something will not allow me to quit. God knows that I want to...I have actually prayed for the motivation to quit. Sounds unusual? I admit it does. Especially, coming from a man who has focused on winning for so long. Remember, I just worked hard and success came. No plan initiated at all! However, when you believe that every door has been closed or opportunities were NOT meant to be you begin to question...contemplate...exam. Is it me? What must I do differently? What in the hell did I do wrong? Why did I go to college and graduate school? Or, the Why me..the Woe is Me syndrome settles in your mental and emotional disposition. You become what you think of yourself while in the Dumps of Life. I have been in this cycle of discontent! In this brutal unemployment and underemployment environment for quite some time. There have been times when I have prepared to drive turn my back on everything and everyone in my circle (including my children). Yes...I have been in that place. When a father...a decent father actually thinks seriously about leaving his children he is severely Conflicted. He is in a damaged locale that conjures Quitting...he is finally at a breaking point! But, I cannot quit - and it is not solely because of fatherhood. Nope! Interestingly, my DNA is wired to win. So, I have decided to respect and honor where I am today mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I HONOR my WANTING to quit. I uphold it...I embrace it. I do however believe that this present positioning of my life will eventually force me to QUIT - and when I do I may just have what you don't: FREEDOM.

The Black Rebel