Is there Honor in Quitting?
Wanting
SO badly to quit...pack up my life and move on. But, for some reason
something will not allow me to quit. God knows that I want to...I have
actually prayed for the motivation to quit. Sounds unusual? I admit it
does. Especially, coming from a man who has focused on winning for so
long. Remember, I just worked hard and success came. No plan initiated
at all! However, when you believe that every door has been closed or opportunities were NOT meant to be you begin to question...contemplate...e xam.
Is it me? What must I do differently? What in the hell did I do wrong?
Why did I go to college and graduate school? Or, the Why me..the Woe is
Me syndrome settles in your mental and emotional disposition. You become
what you think of yourself while in the Dumps of Life. I have been in
this cycle of discontent! In this brutal unemployment and
underemployment environment for quite some time. There have been times
when I have prepared to drive away...to turn my back on everything and
everyone in my circle (including my children). Yes...I have been in that
place. When a father...a decent father actually thinks seriously about
leaving his children he is severely Conflicted. He is in a damaged
locale that conjures Quitting...he is finally at a breaking point! But, I
cannot quit - and it is not solely because of fatherhood. Nope!
Interestingly, my DNA is wired to achieve...to win. So, I have decided
to respect and honor where I am today mentally, spiritually and
emotionally. I HONOR my WANTING to quit. I uphold it...I embrace it. I
do however believe that this present positioning of my life will
eventually force me to QUIT - and when I do I may just have what you
don't: FREEDOM.
The Black Rebel
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